The #1 Personal Growth Trap for Leaders
The dance of growth, both personally and professionally, requires taking steps forward, sideways, and backward. Otherwise you’re just standing in one spot bouncing to the beat.
That’s awkward. So, why do so many of us fear the steps sideways and backward?
Failure is inherent in the learning and creating process and we have a choice in how we experience failure.
We can feel into our failures with curiosity while open mindedly finding the lessons we need to learn. Or, we can connect our self-worth to our success and forever feel like we’re hanging from a string waiting to fall.
When we do fall, even in just a small way, we will feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath us and flip into a massive self-doubt and self-judgement spiral. Or, we will lash out with blame. Maybe both.
Of course, many of us feel like there is a third option: Perfectionism.
The thing about perfectionism is that it keeps us small. We feel like we’re working hard, reaching for the stars, and holding ourselves to a high standard. When really, we are just keeping ourselves in a box, trying mostly things that we know we’ll be good at before we begin, and letting external achievement become the scaffolding of our sense of self.
Not cool. Not helpful. Not sustainable. Your perfectionism blinders aren’t serving you.
Blinding ourselves from where we need to grow creates an illusion of perfection, but deep down we know something is off. That feeling of “something’s off” will keep bubbling up until it explodes.
You are enough, now. You are enough with all your half-learned skills, things you don’t know or aren’t great at yet, and your unreached goals. You are enough even if you’re not making enough money or generating new clients or rocking your next big project.
I know that may sound cheesy, but seriously: you’re enough. If you don’t feel like it, well then that is where you need to push your growth and learning boundaries a bit.
I know that it’s super tempting to focus elsewhere, on SEO or analytics or taking yet another professional development course, but if you don’t amp up your personal growth and sense-of-self-worth foundation you’ll never feel like enough and the dance you’re doing in life and business will continue to feel awkward, unsexy, and not very fun.
The unexamined feeling of “not enough” will also hold you back from taking the big leaps you know deep down that you want to take…someday.
Waiting to feel like enough and waiting to take big leaps until you feel bullet proof confidence is wasting time.
Personal and professional growth are integration processes. You are learning new things and putting new skills into practice. If you’re not, your back there bouncing in one spot on the dance floor.
Today, is a good day to get started with this “enoughness” work. Start by meditating or journaling on the phrase:
“I am enough.”
See what mental arguments come up around that phrase. Notice the thoughts and beliefs that pop up. Compassionately challenge them.
You are enough, now.
If you would like a guide and a community dedicating a piece of each day to self-growth, and to finally feel like enough in a joyful, easeful way—join me in my private Facebook group, the Stand Up Break Free Virtual Studio (request access).
Connect with Katie Ashley
Her book: Living Life on Purpose
Podcast: Search iTunes for "Stand Up Break Free"
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